The Snail That Lives On My Dining Room Table

I woke up yesterday morning to find a snail on my dining room table. I'm pretty sure he came out of the small pine tree I bought for Christmas, pretty much killed am now trying to bring back to life. Not sure how I felt about a slimy little snail on my dining room table, I placed him gently back in the plant and went to work. When I came home there was no sign of him. When I woke up this morning there he was again, same spot, just chillin. As I got ready I started to think about this. A snail living, part time anyhow, on my dining room table. Was this OK? Or was it fuckin gross? And then I started to think about it from a culinary point of view and it dawned on me that I love escargot. Escargot, the French word for snail, is prepared by removing the snail from its shell, gutting it, putting it back in and cooking it with butter, garlic, wine, maybe broth. A tasty delight indeed, however, before I got too gung-ho about cooking my new little friend for a snack I had to remind myself that not all species of snails are edible. And so, because I am not all that keen on the idea of dying just yet, he will live. I suppose he could be good company. After all he is far more agreeable than a boyfriend, he doesn't shed hair (just slime) and he wont take time in the bathroom when I need to get ready in the morning. OMG, I may have just found the perfect roomy and new BFF! Will keep you posted...